east london has turned into some sort of retro early 80s computer roleplay game.
: go north
+++ You cannot go north. Your path is blocked by roadworks
: go south
+++ You cannot go south. Your path is blocked by roadworks
: go east
+++ You cannot go east. Your path is blocked by roadworks
: go west
+++ You go west, and are stopped by a tollbooth
+++ A troll speaks "Hello young sir, you must pay five gold pieces to enter central londinium"
: pay troll
+++ You have no money
: bribe troll with sexual favours
+++ The troll is not attracted to you
: use underground
+++ The underground is closed due to industrial action
: set troll on fire
+++ You set the troll on fire, but your robe catches alight
: call fire brigage
+++ You call fire brigade
+++ The fire bridgade do not turn up
+++ You are in pain
: go to a doctor
+++ You are not registered at a local GP surgery
: register with doctor
+++ All surgeries in this area are full
: go west
+++ Pet shop boy songs are banned here. The troll kills you.
: go north
+++ You cannot go north. Your path is blocked by roadworks
: go south
+++ You cannot go south. Your path is blocked by roadworks
: go east
+++ You cannot go east. Your path is blocked by roadworks
: go west
+++ You go west, and are stopped by a tollbooth
+++ A troll speaks "Hello young sir, you must pay five gold pieces to enter central londinium"
: pay troll
+++ You have no money
: bribe troll with sexual favours
+++ The troll is not attracted to you
: use underground
+++ The underground is closed due to industrial action
: set troll on fire
+++ You set the troll on fire, but your robe catches alight
: call fire brigage
+++ You call fire brigade
+++ The fire bridgade do not turn up
+++ You are in pain
: go to a doctor
+++ You are not registered at a local GP surgery
: register with doctor
+++ All surgeries in this area are full
: go west
+++ Pet shop boy songs are banned here. The troll kills you.
