As i try and think of a suitable snow related song, let me tell you about day 1 of the Actimel project.
Actimel (a "delicious probiotic yogurt drink which contains L.Casei Immunitas") have recently started advertising a campaign that after 2 weeks of drinking their product - if you don't feel better (and want to slide down a hill on your briefcase), [ooh] Danone will give you your money back. So, who am i to turn down two free weeks supply of liquid? and as any true scientist would do, i shall be noting my observations. At the end of two weeks, i'll summarise my findings to let you, the consumer know if Actimel makes a drop of difference. I currently theorise not.
Day 1:
My first taste of the actimel stuff - and its basically quite runny orange flavoured yop, with bits of what i hope is orange. Not unpleasant, kind of reminds me of those set yoghurts you used to get as a kid, but not set, and colder as they've not been in a lunch box for four hours next to a ham and egg roll sandwich and a fun size twix. not expecting an instant result, imagine my surprise when i look out of the window, and et voila - it was snowing! in london! in january! with more exclamation marks! than you can shake a stick! at!
running outside immediatly in my jimjams, my mother pulled my back inside and made me put on some wellies and a coat - which i did and then ran outside to find a blanket of perfect white snow. i ran around in circles for a short while and fell over laughing, reminded of childhoods past. then! an idea! i'd make a snowman. i started with the tiniest ball of snow and packed it together with my already blue hands, but the cold didn't matter - i was warm with a glow which radiated far more heat than any gloves or scarf.
pushing the tiny ball of ice around on the ground, the sphere grew and grew, until it was twice the size, four times the size, eight times the size, 16 times the size, and eventually, resembled a teenage Rik Waller after sunday lunch. Perfect I thought, and repeated the same process for the head. i was out of breath by the time i'd finished, but there he stood - a blank faceless expression adorned his blank faceless face. I looked at him, and could he have looked back, he would have done. He needed features.
i ran back into the house and fetched some coal for his coat buttons, and eyes, and a satsuma for his nose. i borrowed my father's scarf, and wrapped it around his huge neck, and placed my mothers old sunhat on his icy head. with my forefinger i scraped a mouth into his face. the snowman smiled at me. i smiled back. i had made a friend.
by then, it was nearing 9.30am, and i had to go to work, so i ran back into the house full of childish glee, and got ready.
actimel 1 - cynicism 0
ps. on the tube, i read drew barrymore is getting married to someone who isn't me for the third time. i think she's doing it out of spite now.
actimel 1 - cynicism 1
