webponce rants

things less interesting than a pigeon walking in a circle.

  • Monday, April 30

a).. why am i the voice of reason
(when i am a screwed up fuck myself)
(people shouldn't listen to me... i have no idea)

b).. why can i not work until this time of night
(i am a screwed up fuck)
(people shouldn't be like me)

c).. why the toilet?
(i am screwed up, fuck)
(people i like, shouldn't be)

hum..
listening to the fightclub soundtrack.. not that easy listening..

and erm.. yeah.. heres a mention of simon.

hmm.. i have the strangest feeling that i've forgotten to do something.. you ever get that?
can't remember what. .can't for the life of me think what.. perhaps a birtrhday? nope.
maybe a massively important document that i need to send (census.. but that's not it)
a shower? well maybe.. but that's not it either

hmm.. i'm sure it will come to me.. but, doh.. i hate that..

two days until my fMRI
one day until anarchy (knobs)
not enough days until deadline day (may 11)

erk.
  • Sunday, April 29



sustinance: potnoodle, tea, water, tissue.
i'm not eating the tissue, but potnoodle vs. tissue - there isn't much of a difference.. the tissue is slightly less crunchie i guess.

now as much as i *love* meeting new people, making new friends - what i don't really need at the moment is a security dood asking me how to partition a hard drive, and telling me about his son and pirating dreamcast games.. lovely man, i'm sure.. 'bob', but please, foad.. when someone looks away and continues to work - take a hint?

; hunts for nurofen

heh.. morning.
a couple of hours is better than nothing (bollocks is it.. i'm going back to the sofa.. zzzz)



man.. just had a 1hr quake session.. now, i'm not really a quaker.. but have started playing it occasionally in the evenings.. and i do like it ;) i think its one of those things you start, and get hooked on.. i'm not that bad either.. get out a little pent up agression :)

die fuckers die..
etc..

am still going - probably have a kip at about 5.30, so i'm not dead all day tommorow...
sleep here so i don't have to come all the way back :)
  • Saturday, April 28

that's why i love deepend.. where else, on a saturday night granted, could you go out for a curry with the creative director of the entire group (this is the man who started the company with two others), and have a really good laugh? i mean guffaw, loud, laughing.. not forced cuz he is the boss, but going out with mates.. that's what kicks ass about depend.. (amongst other things of course)

now.. i need the loo.
nazrul's curry.. hmm
  • Thursday, April 26

hello
am still here..

now i have to decide whether to go to wolves or not.. 90 minutes to decide..
hmm
  • Wednesday, April 25

night

ok.. i like it again now.. kinda
well, part of it.. just did the 'upload your dream' thing..
ha.. normally, i'm sure we'd book a week to build a forum, but tonight, the forum took about 1 hour to code, and then the shockwave side of things, 2ish.. and now, i have a lovely 'upload your dream' option.... of course, i still don't have a edit or delete your dream in the movie.. heh.. i don't even have a quit button yet :)

picky picky though...
really dont want to have to go to wolves on thursday.. it takes so much time out of my week. :(
we'll see how i'm doing tommorow...

one more hour or so i reckon.. send off that new proposal for dotcam.
  • Tuesday, April 24

doh
today.. i've reached the point where i don't think my project is any good. i saw it all together as a project for the first time today, and its shit. doesn't have the same 'oomph' that it should.. i'm adding in the 'upload your dream' thing tonight to give it a little more finesse.. but its shit.

bah.. that's not good.. i need to find all the deadlines for the report in particular.. god knows when that has to be in.. probably the 12th or somthing bad like that.. oh deary me..

mellow music mood tonight.. well, singy not hardcore.. divine comedy moments definately.

ugh
wet.. it rained on me. :)

mad dreams last night.. was in my house at home with two models.. and i'm sure they were prostitutes, and then, someone broke in downstairs, and i called the police. .and they arrived - but it was a fake policeman - and as the robber was legging it away, i jumped over the stairrails, and landed on him to wrestle him to the ground until the real police came.

hmm..

ouch again.. early to rise, early to bed
sorted out my money plan with guillaume - the idea of taking off the next three weeks, and then spreading the reduction in pay across the next few months.. just waiting to see if accounts will allow it :)

long day today.. can't work much more.. need the sleep.. but got quite a bit done i think.. oh yeah.. apart from vince slagging off the dotcam project. cock.. i've had to rewrite the proposal from its original version - bit of a shame, but that's uni i guess.
  • Monday, April 23

ouch.. early.. got up at 7.45 :(
don't expect this to happen again.. (that often)

contemplated this morning taking out a student loan so i can take off the next few weeks.. what do you think? might make sense. it means i can work for uni solidly without worrying about money for a little while - yeah, i have to pay it back.. but i can spread the costs.. all students have debts. i suppose i could just become another statistc.

  • Sunday, April 22

oh for autosave in director.
45 minutes down the pan :(


---- New Conversation [Sun, 1:14 pm] ----
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: she is scaring me, and gravy 
sent me a text messagem he wants to know if it is male or female
webponce says: he's rearranging the chairs!?!!?
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: i know
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: weirdo
webponce says: maybe he wants to kill us ALL... ARGARAHRGHARGAH
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: it stinks too
webponce says: nice.. why are you smelling him?
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: i can smell it from here

ginger george doors is back.
came in with alig and buzzzzzz. should have got up earlier though.. didn't have time to get ready for tonight.. will have to go home before going to abbies (doh)

wussed out..
going home.. did an interaction though "can we catch up on missed sleep"..
ha.. comedy..

alig is picking me up at 11.. so will be in early.. so its not all bad.. am looking forward to spending tommorow with abbie actually.. will be nice to cuddle in someones arms.. need that when tired..
  • Saturday, April 21

nice dinner..
asparagus with mushrooms in a garlic butter
duck breast with omlettey thing
pistachio creme brulee
and a suitable rant about my tax returns to finish

but apart from that.. was most pleasant.
i think i'm getting too old. there were drunks on the tube on the way back, well, not even drunk.. loud - and a group of girls being.. loud. i just wanted them all to be quiet.. shush people.. i'm trying to read my book.. still have that feeling that everyone would just go an leave me alone.. getting worse now - but i'm starting to wonder about all this 'self' crap. all the spirituality thing.. is it just that i need to release some anger? do i need to find something higher?
nah.. i just need to sleep for a while - the problem is i'm on edge at the moment with too many people relying on me - not even relying.. just wanting to be with me - and i'm turning around and being a cnut.

and on edge is no understatement.. i'm jumpy, emotional, feel unhealthy
i need to chill.. but ... can't yet :)

new security dood. again. bah
thinking about just going home actually.. should sleep and then work early tommorow.. but if i am going to abbies.. won't be able to. and didn't do much today :(
2 hours.. then home i think

1 nurofen down..

doh. half hour phone call to kirsty reduced the working time there.. hmm..

new 'secure'ity guard..
a) the front door wasn't locked properly, ie. just on its catch.
b) i walked up the stairs, and as i was about to punch in the code on the mullet door, he opened it and i walked in, said "hi" and proceeded to steal all the machines in the building (well, that bits inaccurate.. but i could have done)

pointless.. absolutely pointless..
attractive bloke though (lol)

just got in from camden market, getting my mum her 50th birthday present (which was yesterday.. and had completely forgotten about it.. doh).. so got her a nice bottle of verve c, and some minutures for the dolls house, as well as a silver plated card.. must remember to sign it, or i'll end up giving her a blank card.. that would be very me :)

on the tube and saw a john lewis advert for swinging garden furnture for couples.. almost cried.. that's not good is it? emotional edge methinks.. kirsty agrees, asked her how the date went.. no response.. hmm...

meeting mom and dad at 7 in south ken.. get two hours lingo done now.. and then head off, eat and come back

(securedood standing on bridge.. OMG. its that bald bloke from reeves and mortimor, but with a ginger mullet)..

got mail from alison saying she's arriving in 4 weeks.. cool :)

gone

still here.. fiddling with the banner style header on this page.. duh..
can still smell burning.. ah.. just worked it out.. the heaters under the desk have come on..

wonderful pieces of technology.. heat the desk, leave the developer concerned and cold...
hmm

just found a track which i haven't listened to in ages.. v feelgood "aurora - ordinary world".. and as i try and play it again.. apollo or ie or whatever, screws my dns.. and all goes to pot.. might as well go home now.. tarrah

*so* in the zone.. but have to go home.. parents are coming tommorow.. and i *know* they will call at 8am, saying "we'll be there in three hours..", rather than calling when they arrive.. but have got good section done.. cute.. here is a  sheep to prove it.. awww

why can i smell burning..? dust burning.. that warm smell.. like on radiator you just turned on after winter.. hmmm. i think i should back up my work off site :)

tonight's sustenance:

quite an amount of cocacola
1 can of redbull
1 lasagne (meat) from stars and stripes (kickass.. go there.. last night, masses of pizza for �20.. vgood)
2 garlic breads with cheese

bah
how personal should i go on this.. i don't want everyone to know what i'm thinking.. but this is the only way i'll ever keep a diary. should probably buy one of those 'paper' based diaries.. but i mean.. come on... analogue technology?!?
maybe i should create a personal blogger which saves to passworded files, and then just export them and print them out.. and save this one for rants and what i'm up to?

poo.. jabber IM client is not updating when people come online / go offline.. although its a brilliant piece of software.. no, i'll take that back.. the protocol is kick ass, the software is pretty pony..

reminder to self.. write your own jabber client
reminder to self.. learn C++ to be able to write own jabber client
reminder to self.. should be working...

call from abbie.. falling asleep on the phone.. awww.. cute little thing..
whoa.. can't leave zone.. easy.. crack open the nescafe.. or redbull.. hmm.. i fancy redbull.. never normally, but this is day three of 6am's in a row.. i'm starting to shift again..

ahh.. in the zone :)
cool.. this is like having an IM partner.. who never responds.. (doh)
loser++

heh
"My bedpartner�s penis sometimes gets erect when he sleeps. This happens even after we have had sex. Does this mean he is not satisfied or wants someone else?"

just installed blogger
probably easier than uploading every time.. of course an idea stolen from slim.. who else when tech related...

bah.. in a right mood tonight.. should use my anger to work rather than moan.. more productive.. no reason to be moody though.. i think i'm just tired, or hormonal.

thought for the evening.. why am i writing a diary from now on.. which is public???? diary.. good, public.. maybe bad.. although maybe not, maybe its a good thing that my thoughts are known.. no secrets, no hurting people with stuff you should have told them a long time ago. (hint).

right back to lingo for the mo.. i've still got to do that 101 questions.. and i'm sure the security guard is going to attempt to kill me soon, so i at least want to finish a good section of O2..
  • Friday, April 20

hi.

this is an attempt to have one of those really lame websites that people who can't design or program have. i can design (a bit), and i can program (my job), but neither good enough to produce anything of critical aclaim. merely my attempts will be so average, that i'd rather produce something so plain and non-attempful of decentness, not no critic would bother passing judgement on

i don't even know what i'm going to put here.. probably just use it as somewhere to keep my thoughts, well, publishable thoughts that won't get me in to trouble.. ie. erm.. links to yahoo

oh joy.

btw, i'm really not in the mood to be doing anything of worth. this is a rant session. i'm vaguely pissed off, not even pissed off, just trying to do anything other than work. my machine keeps crashing, i can't find the most basic of '10 popular questions about sleep', fucking internet, and i'm tired. can't go home, will feel guilty about not doing my uni work, can't work... well, can, but don't want to.. but have to.. impending deadlines :(

would normally be at my gf's on a friday night if not out on the razz with deependers, but abbie(gf) is in manchester, and slim(flatmate) went home home to see the football tommorow. (oh.. i just found 101 questions about sleep.. that'll do. actually, its fuckin' A.. damn.. i'll be back in a mo after i've built another section of oneirocritica (pronounced oh-neero-critika, not 1 erotica.. or anything :P